


Die Savage

by Nauval_Affan



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Other, See it for your self
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4804025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nauval_Affan/pseuds/Nauval_Affan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Global terrorist attacks lead to the apocalypse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Attack on England

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but the weird and pitiful plot.

Southampton, England  
Night

That one shit night, Emilia Clarke, a Herpes-infected patient, is vacuuming the deck of the cruise ship Minaj Ehad. The ship is docked next to the cruise terminal (where else, stupid?). Vacuuming around reminds her of something. Nope. It reminds her of someone. Someone she used to know (and love, I presume).

Harry Styles. The cutely infantile adult man she met a few years ago. (Four years before 2015 to be exact). They met each other at a strip club in Bangor, Wales. She remembers his James Dean daydream look in his eyes and his slightly girly look. They dated for about four years. They share good times together. They got chased by an angry Bedouin mob in Syria. Intrude into Nicki Minaj's bedroom. And they almost got killed by Justin Bieber when they illegally visit Canada. On March 13, 2015, everything changed.

That shit night, they were sleeping in a gay bar near Nick Hoult's mansion in Holyhead, Wales. Before that, they partied so hard with a few people, including Nick Hoult. They partied so hard that they got diarrhea and Herpes at the same time. Emilia was woken up by a FAGSPLOSION somewhere close to the bar. She went out of the bar to investigate. She held her chainsaw on her hands. She then heard banging in the air vent. Everybody inside woke up. Emilia back walked in, when the air vent seal was thrown away. It hit Tom Hiddleston's head and knocked him out. For some reasons, his sausage got hard when he fell. He probably consumed some viagra pills while partying.

Three Indon terrorists leap out of the air vent. One of them directly lands right on Tom's hard sausage, which wakes the latter up. He screams out loud before he faints. The other people in the bar are shocked. "Indons!" Simon Pegg said. "How could they get here?" He took out his pistols, H3RP3Z-101. Everyone who is not Indon showed off their weapons. James McAvoy took out his tampon num chucks. Jessie J took out her magic Minaj flashlight. Nick Hoult shows off his rifle, Diafol-666. And so on. And so on.

"We're not here to kill you," the Blue Indon said. "We just want your money. We are poor people." "We don't fucking care what do you want," Harry menacingly said, pointing his magic St. Elmo's wand at the terrorists. "Yeah," Jessie said. "Just GTFO right now." "Yeah, you savages!" Harry firmly said. The Red Indon stepped forward, raised his arm and menacingly pointed his knife at Harry. "What did you call us?" he asks. He swung his knife towards the British singer. Harry reacts; he diluted Red Indon's knife with his wand. "You know magic?" Red Indon said. He took out a serum filled with liquid tranquilizing drug. "Don't you learn SCIENCE?!" He throws the serum at Harry, but the latter moves away, dodging the serum. But the serum pierced Simon Pegg's leg. The middle-aged man collapses.

Nick shielded everyone beside the Indons, Emilia, Harry, the recently knocked-out Simon, and the unconscious Tom Hiddleston. Emilia looks at Simon, whose mouth began foaming. "HOLY HELL!" Emilia menacingly and angrily said. She turned on her machine chainsaw. "YOU WILL FUCKING SUFFER!" She growled as she ran towards the Red Indon. But the latter grabbed Harry's hand, which held his wand. The wand shot a magic light beam, which went through Emilia's chest. She fell down to her DEATH as she closed in the Red Indon.

"What have you done?" the Red Indon grinned at Harry. "It's your fault," Harry firmly said. "Now, you'll be our slave," the Red Indon said. He placed a red chip on Harry's neck. The singer is now under terrorist mind control. "Now take her money," Red Indon ordered. "Yes, sir," Harry said like a robot. He kneeled down and took Emilia's wallet. He opened it and took a few hundred Anglo-Saxon pounds and some Welsh pounds. He gave them to the Red, who put them in his own wallet. The latter, along with his co-partners Green and Blue as well as Harry casually walked out of the bar. "Thank you for your attention," Red said. Every non-Indon alive and conscious looked at them leave. They're pretty helpless.

Not so much. Emilia suddenly revived from her death. She got up and picked up her still powered-on chainsaw. Everyone, except for the Indon gang and Harry, looked at her. "Emi?" Nick nervously asked. She didn't answer. Only a "grrrr." Her eyes glowed magenta. Her wounds were gone somehow. She turned back and ran forward in anger. She growled on her way. She shattered the glass doors with her chainsaw. She lunged right at the Indon gang and vertically chainsawed the Red Indon in half. The savage man never got the chance to look back. His DEAD body collapsed down and his organs crumble down. Blood flooded the area around him. What a sadistic scene. The Green Indon and the Blue Indon looked back. They were scared to death. Harry looked down. He was freed from the Red Indon's control. He then looked at Emilia.

Before he could say a word, the Blue Indon grabbed him and placed a blue chip on his forehead. "Ahh," Harry groaned. "You're now under my control," the Blue Indon said. "Yes, master," Harry said. The Blue Indon activated his jetpack and blasted off with Harry. "You take care of her," the Blue Indon said to the Green Indon.

The Green Indon showed off his pistol. He fired at Emilia, who then dodged the bullet with her chainsaw. He made fires again; all the bullets were dodged. He made another fire. Emilia tried to dodge the bullet but failed. It hit her upper left arm. This made her angry, so she launched herself against her aggressor and slashed his body from his shoulder to his balls. The Green Indon collapsed to his DEATH. Organs fell out. Blood splattered everywhere. Some stained on Emilia's clothing.

Every conscious humans inside the bar came out of the bar. Some of them stared at the horrifying scene of a mutilated body. Then, they looked at Emilia, who was mutilating the Green Indon's dead body. She removed his intestines from the body and threw them out. His head was then chainsawed and his eye was removed. The head was then put down.

"Emilia," James said from behind Nick. "You can stop now. It's getting too sadistic." Emilia stopped and turned off her chainsaw, following James' order. She put her chainsaw down. "I'm out of here," she said as she left the scene.

Early in the morning, police arrived at the scene. The conscious and alive witnesses told their own testimonies to the police. Tom and Simon were hospitalized.

Back to Present

Okay, folks. That's all Emilia has to remember.

What a quite horrible and sadistic memory she had. Now, it is 2 AM and somehow she is still awake. She has finished vacuuming the whole deck. There is still one deck more. She goes up a stairway and gets on Deck 10. Just one deck above. Then, she begins vacuuming again.

She sees James McAvoy laying on a beach chair in the sunbathing area. "What are you doing here?" she asks, passing by behind him. "I can't sleep," James answers in Scottish accent. "All I dream is dicks, Hamas, and Nicki Minaj all the time." "Geez," Emilia comments. "What a shitty dream you have! And speaking of Hamas-"

The conversation is pitifully cut by rocket noises heard from the skies. Emilia and James look up. "Crap!" the former says. "It's them!" "Who?" James pitifully asks. "Nicki Minaj kissing Mahmoud Abbas?" "WTF?" Emilia responds. "Of course not. Do you remember the Indons who attack us two months ago?" "Well, yeah," James says. "You mutilated them with horrible sadism." "One of them escaped with Harry." "I know that."

"Well, hello again, swaggers!" the Blue Indon says as he lands in front of the two. He is carrying a jetpack on his back. An Indon (named Ogif) lands to his left. Also with a jetpack. "We're here to kill you now," the Blue Indon says. "In exchange for mutilating our brothers." "Look," James begins. "You were the one who began the terror. You were the first one to kill. Now leave us alone."

"Say," Emilia pitifully interrupts. "Where the fucking hell is Harry?" "I'm here," Harry's voice is heard behind her. She turns back and is shocked to see Harry in a very stupid outfit. He is wearing a tight black sleeveless shirt (which didn't cover his belly), a short black skirt, garter belts, stockings, high heel shoes, and black gloves. He is hovering in mid-air because the soles of his shoes blast Helium Herpes. He holds his magic wand on his left hand.

"Where have you been, motherfucker?" Harry asks Emilia in a sissy accent. "What the fuck?" the latter says. "You know in England, mutilating people will get you in prison," Harry explains. "But too bad that here, people justify the killings and mutilation of savages." "They are meant to be dead, douchebag," the Anglo-Saxon lady firmly says. She turns to the Blue Indon. "What have you done to him?" she angrily asks him. "Well, we simply turned him into one of us," the monkey-faced savage says. "Through mind control." James takes out his own new weapon, Judas-G4G4, a Tennessean shotgun made by Lady Gaga. He points it at the Indon.

"Wanna kill us?" the savage says. He takes out his own gun and shoots James on his forehead. The Scottish man falls back. He is DEAD on scene. "We'll kill you," the Indon says. Emilia looks at dead James. She looks shocked, partly scared, and she nearly cried. She looks at the Indon. "You..." she frailly says. "Fuck!" Her voice turns firm and violent. She turns off her vacuum cleaner and opens a compartment on it. She takes her CHAINSAW from it. "Oh no you don't," Blue Indon says. He fires a shot at her...

...but something (or someone) burnt it from below. The bullet falls and James McAvoy rises from his death. As he gets up, he growls at the savage man who shot him. He pushes him to the edge of the deck. They both land next to the swimming pool on the deck below. James violently beats the savage up. His fists strangles the savage and smashes his cheekbone. The Indon's blood bleeds out of his nose, mouth, ears, and eyes. James gets up and his foot violently steps on Blue Indon's face many times. The Scot then firmly severs the savage's left arm and impales it on the savage's chest, KILLING him. "Burn, motherfucker," James evilly and firmly says. He points his Judas-G4G4 gun and burns the carcass. Yup. His gun doubles as a flamethrower.

With no fear, he kicks the fiery carcass into the pool. Ogif and Emilia sees the horrible scene from the deck above. In anger, the former leaps from the edge railings and dives towards James. The Scot casually looks at him and simply grabs the young savage's hands before severing the arms of the wild man. Ogif screams and lands down. His condition is critical. No need to call 911, because James fires his shotgun twice at the helpless Indon. The result, massive sexplosions and DEATH to Ogif.

The area around Ogif's death site is on fire. No worries. James extinguish the flames with a shitty hydrant. Meanwhile...on the deck above...

"That douchebag have killed my masters," Harry speaks to Emilia like a robot having its ass penetrated with a golf club. "But those ain't my real masters." "So, what?" Emilia asks. "Bye, bye, motherfucker!" Harry casually exclaims as he BLASTS OFF away into the night. James walks up a stairwell to the upper deck. He angrily grins at Harry and points his own gun at the flying man. Emilia grabs his gun. "No," the Anglo-Saxon orders. "Where is that shit going?" James asks. "I don't know," Emilia answers. "But it seems he is going to...crap...he's going to London!"

"NO!" James aggressively and firmly says. "HE WILL NEVER GET THAT SHIT!"

London, England  
A few hours later

Nick Hoult wakes up. He sits up and looks around the dark room. Lucas Till is sleeping on a separate bed to his left. Nick rubs his eye. That's when Lucas wakes up. The latter sits up, pretentiously looking at the older half-Welsh guy. "You can't sleep?" the younger guy yawns. "Nightmare," Nick yawns back. Lucas stares at Nick's shirtless lean body. "You're hotter than I-" he tries to make a comment about his body, but is pitifully cut by the half-Welshman himself. "Shut dde ffuck up," Nick says, half annoyed.

Lucas ignores him. The blond Texan gets on his feet and gives Nick his (Nick, not Lucas) smartphone. "Here," Lucas says. "I have enough using this." The dark-haired man ignores him for some stupid reasons. He casually takes the shitty gadget and turns it on. "AHH!" he suddenly shouts in shock and disgust. "What dde heck?" He is shocked and horribly disgusted because the smartphone background image is...NOPE!...I won't fucking explain it cos it's as gross as fuck. Nick clenches his hand on his chest. He takes a few breaths before fainting on his bed. Lucas chuckles at him. Nick opens his eyes. "What dde heck?" he quietly says. He then looks at his friend, who is still chuckling. "Did you fucking change the background photo?" the former firmly and half-angrily asks the latter. "Yeah," Lucas says as he stops chuckling. "I change-" "You change it to a pornography!" Nick pitifully cuts in. He is quite offended and angry.

Gunshots are heard from outside the building. Screams, shouts, and orgy moans are heard too. The two young men are surprised. "What dde hell was ddat?" Nick asks. "Better check it out," Lucas suggests as he stupidly walks to and gets on Nick's bed. He opens the window curtains to the right of the bed. He opens the window frame and peeks his head outside. He looks to the right and sees Indon terrorists entering an apartment building across the road. There is a dead security guard, who was probably shot lying next to the entrance. He is shocked. 

"HOLY MINAJ," he shouts as he gets his head back in. "What is it?" Nick asks the blond. The latter just looks at the former half terrified. "Is it Nicki Minaj fighting Lil Kim?" Nick asks. "What the shitty motherfucker are you talking about, douchebag?" Lucas annoyingly asks him. "I just saw wild men in guns entering the building across the road. I saw the security guard dead too. He's shot I presume." "What dde ffuck?" Nick says. He puts on his red and white shirt and takes a look outside. He glares at the apartment building across the street. A scream is heard, followed by a gunshot. A woman is then thrown out of a window. She lands on the sidewalk hard.

"Holy Tampon of Tampon Swift!" Nick exclaims. "What?" Lucas asks. Nick gets his head back in and looks at the blond. "Jessie!" the former says in horror and shock. "She's killed by them. She-she-she's dead." "Who's Jessie?" Lucas asks. "Is she-" "She's the singer who sings 'Flashlight'," Nick cuts in. "Great," Lucas says, taking a shitty breath. "Those Indonesian butchers are gonna kill us next after finishing their job in that building." "More exactly," Nick begins. "Jessie's apartment building."

A few minutes later...

Lucas and Nick have decided to enter Jessie's apartment building to save everyone alive in there. They go out of their own apartment building. Nick carries his Diafol-666 shotgun. Lucas carries nothing but his sexually explicit weapon, red Minaj energy blast. That's an (e)X-Men thing, I guess. They enter Jessie's apartment building through a door behind the building. They silently and watchfully walk on the corridor. "Nick," Lucas whispers. "What?" Nick whispers back. "Is Jessie dead now?" Lucas quietly asks. "Of course she is," Nick whispers in response. "I heard a shot before she was thrown out."

They hear noises of falling pennies. They go to the source of the sound and they stop to the front-left of a doorway to the right of the corner of the wall. "Take everything you want," a frail male Anglo-Saxon voice is heard from inside the doorway. Gunshots are then heard. A scream is simultaneously heard. "Thank you so much," a different voice says. The source of the voice, an Indon with pockets on his pants full of pennies and Anglo-Saxon pounds, walks out of the doorway. He looks at the two white men. Nick points his gun at the savage, but the latter shoots the former with his out-of-date gun on his forehead. Nick attempts to take the bullet from his forehead. But he falls down to his DEATH.

This angers Lucas. "YOU SHALL PAY, MOTHERFUCKER!!!" he angrily, firmly, and vengefully says. He shoots a blast of energy at the savage. The latter is violently thrown onto the wall behind him. His large gash created by the blast and damages created from being thrown onto the wall kill the Indon. Lucas kneels down next to dead Nick. He nearly cries. He takes out the bullet from the dead man's wound, just as Nick opens his eyes.

"Dude," Lucas says. "You're alive!" He backs away a bit to let Nick sit up. The older man scratches his hair. He then looks at his friend's eyes. Lucas' tears begin flowing out of his eyes. Nick wipes his friend's tears. "I'm okay, man," he says, rubbing Lucas' blondness. The blond man blushes as Nick stops rubbing.

An Indon suddenly shows up far in front of the men. The former accelerates forward at the two men. Lucas gets up. "I can handle this," he says to Nick. "Just don't do anything shitty." But the half-Welsh gets up and runs towards the Indon screaming in anger. His gun is on his hand. "What the heck?" Lucas says in surprise. Nick points his gun at his savage opponent, but is shot by the latter at his chest. Nick falls down to his second death. "NO!" Lucas shouts. Tears drops from his eyes. "YOU WILL SUFFER, MOTHERFUCKER!" he continues shouting. He runs at the savage running towards him. The former's hands glow red as the latter is about to open fire. Both of them scream.

The Indon never gets the change to kill Lucas. A blue energy light suddenly shows up behind the former. It blasts the barbarous Indon and vaporizes the being. Lucas stops as the energy wanes to reveal an undead Jessie J. She is wearing her cerulean blue gown and holds her Magic Minaj Flashlight on her hand. Her eyes glow blue and her skin is as pale as fuck. "Oh, what the hell?" Lucas is shocked. "I thought you were-" "STFU!" Jessie shouts. "There are six other Indons in this building. We've gotta kill 'em all!" She turns back and walks away. "Follow me!" she says. Lucas follows her as he glances at his dead friend for a while.

Meanwhile...in another part of London

"What the hell have you done, mama?" an angry Ben Hardy shouts at Harry Styles. The former is sitting on top of a building with a DEAD Sophie Turner. The redhead girl was killed by Harry's magic wand, which left a gash on her chest. "I'm not yo mama!" Harry shouts back with semi-robotic and sissy accent. The floating mind-controlled singer flies around Ben. "Now all I need to do is to-" Harry says, but is cut by an angry Simon Pegg, who lunges at him from the heaven. The angry guy screams as he is about to press his H3RP3Z-101 gun trigger. But Harry points his wand at Simon and the wand shoots a beam of white magic energy. It goes through Simon's eye and head. He is KILLED and falls down to the street below.

Ben stares in horror at dead Simon. Then, he looks at Harry partly in anger and partly in horror and shock. He gets up and takes out his F4nCy-33 Iggy Azalea gun from the floor. He points it at Harry. "Well, what a fancy piece of shit you have," the latter commented. Ben is offended at maximum. He shoots the floating guy on the latter's chest. But no effects are shown. Ben shoots again a few times. Twice on Harry's neck and a few other times on Harry's forehead, nose, and balls. No effects still. "What kind of thing are you?" Ben asks in moderate fear. He almost drops his gun. "You know what?" Harry says. "I'm the new Superman in this region." He floats towards Ben, who slowly backs away as the other guy closes in. "I'm immune to anything," Harry continues. "No diseases can infect me, even Herpes. No sex bombs can destroy me. >;). No magic can-"

Sophie suddenly revives. She gets up and shoots amber energy beam at Harry using her Tampons of Woolpit. Harry doesn't die. He evilly turns back and stares at Sophie, whose eyes glow amber. "So you're back, huh?" the former says as he closes in the latter. "And you wanna fight me?" "YEAH!" Sophie loudly shouts at 10000000000000001 decibels. Her scream is so powerful that it throws Ben to a wall of another building and Harry is thrown away to the heaven.

Jessie's Apartment Building

The scream is as motherfucking loud as motherfuckers that it can be heard as far as Zimbabwe or Nicki Minaj Land. All glass windows are violently shattered. In an apartment room, Lucas Till, Jessie J, and some undead residents cover their ears with their hands. They stop doing that shit after the scream is over.

By the way, the group has just killed all Indons in the apartment. The latter are either sashayed, mutilated, violently raped, decapitated, gassed, or vaporized. The last one is raped by an undead girl with a tampon on fire, mutilated by the girl's alive mother, and thrown out of the window. "That's a bit sadistic," Lucas comments. "Whatever," Jessie J says. "What's that noise anyway?" "Sounds like a gay banshee being raped with a PSP," Lucas thinks.

"Oh," Nick's voice is heard from behind them. Everyone looks back. They all see Nick, who is seemingly alive and well. There's a red stain on his chest and forehead. "You guys are all here!" Lucas begins to shed tears. He hugs the dark-haired man. "You're alive again!" the former says. Nick rubs his friend's blond hair. "Kinda gay," Mel says, the girl who rapes the Indon with a tampon. Nick and Lucas look at her. Embarrassed. They pull back from their homoerotic hug. "Sorry," Lucas embarrassingly says. "Okay, by the way. What now?"

Everyone looks back at the destroyed window. Lucas sees Sophie Turner flying past the building at high speed. She seems like pushing Harry Styles. "What the heck was that?" Lucas says. "I don't know," Jessie says. "ARG!" Nick groans. Everybody looks at him. His hand is on the upper left of his head. He bows down a bit. Lucas comes to his aid. "Whoa!" the blond says. "What happened?" "I have a headache," Nick frailly says as he collapses on his knees. His other hand grabs the other side of his head. He groans out loud. Then his headache stops. "Does he have a stroke?" Mel asks. "I don't think so," Jessie says as Nick gets back up. The latter looks at Lucas. "I'm okay," Nick says. "Just a common headache."

Several minutes later

Sophie dives down the River Thames carrying Harry. She swims really quick underwater. Then, she goes up, crashing Harry onto the keel of a riverboat. She speeds up to space at high speed. Once she is on space, she lets go of Harry. "WHY WON'T YOU DIE?" she shouts at Harry out loud, but not as loud as the last time. She violently kicks Harry on his dick down to Earth. The singer just smiles like a clown getting his ass drilled by a girl. This facial expression offends Sophie at maximum. She screams and dives down to Earth, pushing Harry with her fists and tampons. They both fly down like meteors at high speed. Once they're back on London, Sophie violently crashes Harry at several buildings and structures. First is Minaj Hotel London, followed by Westminster Abbey, Monument of the Great Fire, Minaj Corporation Building, Herpes Museum, 30 St Mary Axe, London Tower, and a strip club. Harry s fatally injured now, but somehow still alive. After Sophie crashes him and herself at the center of the London Eye, she dives down into River Thames again.

Jessie, Nick, Lucas, and the undead horde arrive at Westminster Bridge. Then, Sophie flies out of the Thames carrying, surprising the group. Sophie eventually crashes Harry at the Big Ben. Everyone awake is seeing this. "Ah!" Nick says, hands on his head again. "No," Lucas worriedly says. "Not again!"

Meanwhile, after crashing Harry at the Big Ben, Sophie severs Harry's almost falling off leg and firmly impales it at the guy's chest. "I'm not dead, mama!" the impaled singer says. Sophie angrily sighs and violently hits Harry's injured eye with her tampon. A powerful energy shakes the Big Ben. Sophie moves away as the quarter half of the clock tower collapses, KILLING Harry. Everyone comes to the collapsed part of Big Ben. Lucas aids Nick, whose headache is worsening as the men close in the ruined tower.

Queen Kate Middleton of England arrives at the scene. She drops off her car and looks at the ruined Big Ben. "What the bloody hell?" she says with a drama queen-ish matter. "Who did this this?" Sophie descends to the ground. Her eyes stop glowing. "I did this," she says to the (drag) queen. She telekinetically moves away the collapsed clock to reveal a flat, dead, red, and diarrhea-infected Harry Styles. The Queen is shocked. "BLOODY HERPES!" she says out loud. "YOU KILLED HIM???" "I can explain," Sophie nervously says. "He is mind controlled by Indonesians-" "Oh yeah," the Queen cuts in. "I forgot that. The savage beings stole him and turn him into one of them. BUT I WON'T FORGIVE YOU BECAUSE YOU KILLED HIM!"

Harry suddenly revives. His blood dries out and his severed leg goes back in its original place. He gets on his feet as he comes back to life. "What the?" he asks. "Where am I?" Nick collapses on his knees again. He sighs in anger and frustration. Everyone looks at him. Lucas kneels next to him. "Dude!" he says in slight panic. "Are you okay?" Nick answers with a growl. His eyes shine Welsh green. He covers his eyes. Lucas gets up and stays away. Everybody soon follows. 

Simon's Death Site

Two Anglo-Saxon policemen and an Anglo-Kashmiri police woman, Katrina Kaif surround Simon, who has just revived into a half-zombie and half-diarrhea patient. "I don't know why," Katrina says. "He suddenly heals himself and comes back to life."

Big Ben

Nick groans like a wild animal. "What's wrong with him?" Jessie asks. "I don't-" Lucas almost completes his answer, but he stops as Nick collapses to a coma. "Oh crap!" Lucas says in shock. "Is he dead?" The Queen comes to Nick and checks the latter's heartbeat. "He's in coma," the former says. "I could still hear his heartbeat." She clears away.

Simon's Death Site

At the same time when Nick wakes up, Simon's head is proudly, uneventfully, and pitifully PEGGSPLODED! Blood splatters everywhere. "Holy Diarrhea!" Katrina exclaims. "What the hell?"

Back at Big Ben

Harry steps forward. At the same time, Nick opens his eyes, which are still glowing green. He gets on his feet as he sighs in anger. He menacingly walks towards Harry. His facial expression shows extreme rage and anger. He points his finger at Harry, who slowly backs away in fear as the green-eyed man walks to him. "It's all your fault!" Nick angrily says. "YOU'RE BEHIND ALL OF THIS! YOU'RE A SAVAGE MURDERER! YOU'RE NOT ANGLO-SAXON! YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKING MURDERER WHOSE JOB IS TO KILL ALL MOTHERFUCKING INNOCENT LIVES!" "Please man," Harry nervously and fearfully says. "I-I didn't I did-d-d-not do any of th-th-this. I was in uh-uh-um mind c-c-control." "SHUT UP!" Nick shouts at Harry as the former lunges at the latter. Nick kicks Harry's crotch, throwing him to a lamp post. Harry growls in pain.

"MOVE AWAY!" Nick shouts at Sophie, who is blocking his way. The redhead girl moves away following the guy's order. Nick kicks Harry's chest, then takes the latter up, and later slams him down, crushing his skull. He's DEAD again. Nick then shoots Harry's face with his Diafol-666 gun a few times. Harry's face then reforms. Nick grabs the other man's reviving body. "SO YOU DON'T DIE, HUH?" the former angrily shouts. He slams the body hard onto the ground. Blood splatters everything. He takes it again and slams it again. This is done several times. Everyone looks at the dramatic scene.

"Nick!" The Queen comes forward. "Please stop!" Nick dramatically looks back. He puts dead Harry down. He directly looks at deep at Lucas' eyes. Then, his own eyes glow brighter. A sudden headache hits Lucas. His hands grab his head. He groans in pain. He shuts close his eyes for a moment. Then, he opens his eyes. They're both glowing Turkish red. His body glows red as well. "STFU, BITCH!" he shouts at the Queen with a semi-robotic and loud voice. The Queen looks at him as the latter shoots a blast of red energy near the former. The Queen quickly moves away, dodging the blast. The blast results a cracked area on the road.

"What the heck?" she exclaims. "What do you think you're doing?" "Don't intervene," Lucas says. "Harry Styles is not innocent." Nick throws Harry's corpse into River Thames. "True," the half-Welshman says. "He's meant to be dead!" "Well," the Queen begins. "You don't need to call me a bitch." "Fine, I'm sorry," Lucas says. "Anyway," Nick begins. "There are still Indon terrorists in London. He and I will find and kill all of them before they kill one of us." Nick flies away with Lucas, who is flying too.

The Queen looks around. "What?" Sophie asks. "Is anyone tired?" the Queen asks. "I'm gonna sleep in my car." "I don't sleep anymore," Jessie J says. "So do we," Mel and some of her family members say. "Me too," Sophie says. "Why is that?" the Queen asks as she gets back to her car and sleeps in there. "Guys," Mel says. "Let's go home." "Right," Jessie says. "Before more savages show up and kill us again." Everybody except the Queen leaves the scene.

Jessie's Apartment Building  
Morning

James McAvoy and Emilia Clarke falls from the heaven and lands in front of the apartment building. Each of them is on a tricycle. "Well, that's a shitty journey," James says. He then looks forward and sees the corpse of an Indon terrorist. Blood and guts splatters everywhere. "Oh hell," James says in grossness and a bit of horror. "Something happened here!" "I told you not to g-string party all night!" Emilia says. Jessie then opens the door. She walks out. "Hey guys," she casually says. "What's up?" "Did something happened last night?" Emilia asks. "Yeah," Jessie says. "Come in, I'll tell you the whole story."

James and Emilia follow Jessie up to the latter's apartment room. They have a breakfast of Steak and Herpes Pudding with scrambled egg cells, Minaj sauce, and some Syphilis hash browns. Jessie tells the whole event as they eat up. After finishing their breakfast (and Jessie's story), James asks a question. "If people who are killed from a violent or bad event like murder, are revived. How come the Indon guy below be still dead." "I don't know," Jessie answers the uninteresting question. "Seems that God didn't wanna revive any dangerous beings." "That doesn't make sense," James comments. "I agree," Emilia says. "How could you know?" "Well, that's what I think," Jessie simply says the answer.

But it wasn't God who revives anyone (except for savage) who dies of violent events.


	2. Red Ramadan

Beirut, Lebanon ❤️❤️❤️  
Underground MRT  
Day

It is just an ordinary day of Ramadan in Beirut, Lebanon. Not really. "NOOO!" a Lebanese woman screams in a Lebanese MRT in underground Beirut. She is kneeling on the ground crying while looking at her DEAD husband. She then looks up at the Indonesian terrorist, Qazarra, who is standing next to her husband's corpse. Qazarra is the killer of her husband. The other passengers in the MRT look at the gruesome scene. They all sit on the floor with their hands on their heads. Qazarra's terrorist nine pals are guarding them. Each holding a machete. "You're such an evil bastard," the woman firmly shouts at Qazarra. "That's my husband, you idiot!" Qazarra points his machete at the woman. "Your husband has the consequence of his own action," he says. "He won't give me his money to me so I killed him." "G8T 4 JOB, Man!" a guy shouts. One of Qazarra's terrorist pal comes to the guy who shouts and impales his machete onto his forehead, killing the guy. Everyone, including the woman witnesses the killing. Some gasps and a boy screams. A baby begins crying.

Qazarra takes his machete. "Stay calm, everyone!" he announces. "Give me as much money as you have to me and you will be okay!" The woman whose husband was killed stands up. "I will not give mine to you, you demonic asshole!" she shouts.

~Meanwhile~

Lebanese National Security Guardians' Headquarters  
Suburban Beirut

Amal Alamuddin, a general of the Lebanese National Security Guardians (LNSG) has been watching the whole event at the MRT through an orb. This orb, a technological invention of Lebanon, Israel, Nabataea, Syria, Babylonia, Arabia, Egypt, Malta, Libya, and Carthage enables people like her to see and interact with stuffs recorded in security cameras. In this case, a security camera in the MRT.

She sees the woman being pulled by Qazarra by her collar. The latter menacingly points his machete at the former. But before he could stab her, Amal psychically mind-controls the woman. This causes the woman to take Qazarra's machete and breaks it in half. Her eyes begin glowing Tyrian purple. Qazarra whistles for his pals to come to him. Some points their machetes at the woman. But Amal psychically stops Qazarra's pals from moving. They're all frozen. Qazarra in confusion looks at his time-frozen pals. He slaps one of them. No response. The passengers, except for the possessed woman are also beginning to get confused.

Qazarra looks around for a while and then looks at the woman. He looks at her purple eyes. "You...did this!" he shouts. He looks down and takes his broken machete blade. He then tries to impale the woman with the blade, but is interrupted by a boy who says "HOLY GOD!" The woman's husband, who was killed by the terrorist comes back to life for some stupid reasons. Everyone is watching this. Including Amal, who sees this through her orb. They are all looking this in significant fear and horror. Some freak out and scream. Qazarra's face turns pale as he looks at the zombie man. "Please," he fearfully says. "Don't kill me!" The undead guy is about to take Qazarra's blade, but both he and Qazarra is pitifully frozen by Amal.

Amal then psychically speeds up the MRT. She simultaneously freezes everyone in the train. The other guy killed by the terrorists suddenly revives, but is eventually frozen by Amal.

Underground MRT Station

The MRT train arrives at the station and abruptly stops. Amal unfreezes the passengers, including the undead and opens the train doors. The confused passengers quickly get out. Some remain in the train and look at the frozen terrorists. The undead guy takes the broken blade to kill Qazarra, but his wife, under Amal's control holds his wrist. "No," the wife says. "Let the police take care of this." The guy drops the blade and walks out of the train with his wife. The other undead guy already come out.

Alexandria Museum ❤️❤️❤️  
Alexandria, Egypt  
Same Shit Day and Time

"QUICK!" Nairb, an Indon terrorist calls his terrorist mates. He and his four mates quietly go downstairs. Two of the men carry a sarcophagus as they go down. When they arrive the bottom floor, Nairb opens a door, which leads them to the basement parking area. When they enter the parking area, the eyes of the mummy inside the sarcophagus glow. The right one glows Egyptian blue while the other one glows golden. That's when the shitty magic happens.

Outside the emergency door where Nairb and his terrorist pals escape through, a dead Egyptian security guard is lying on the floor. Let's just say his name is Khalid Ramses. One of his double sword is impaled on his chest. He was impaled by Nairb while trying to rescue the million-dollar sarcophagus of Pharaoh Seti. That's the sarcophagus the terrorists stole. Khalid's blood is all over the floor and his torso. His other sword is on the floor next to him.

The apparently cursed mummy of Seti eventually takes control of Khalid (that's why the mummy's eyes are glowing). This causes the latter to make an unholy revival. Khalid gets on his legs and takes his swords. That includes the one on his chest. He is now partly alive as a non-mummified mummy. He opens the emergency door and goes downstairs at unholy high speed. He is faster than the Flash having sex with Quicksilver Minaj. He arrives at the basement floor where he meets Vriska Minaj Serket, a character made by Andrew Hussie. Just kidding. 

Anyway, Khalid finds out that the basement door is open. But he doesn't really care. Because he is an undead mummy. By the time he enters the basement, Nairb and his pals are hiding the sarcophagus in the baggage of Nairb's caravan. They then board the shitty caravan, put on their Bedouin headwear, and drive away. Nairb is driving the vehicle out the basement. Khalid sees them while he is walking between the cars parked in the basement. One of the terrorist pals of Nairb noticed Khalid. "Sir," he says to Nairb. "I saw that guy." "Who?" Nairb asks. "The security guy you killed," the other man answers. "Must be his ghost," Nairb comments. "I thought y-" the other man says, but is abruptly cut after seeing Khalid on the rearview mirror. The latter is looking at the caravan. "Holy Periwati!" the terrorist guy shouts. Periwati is a goddess of sex and love in Indonesian savage mysticism.

The guy points his hand at the mirror. Nairb then looks at the mirror. "CRAP SHIT!" he exclaims as he sees Khalid. He hits the gas to make the caravan faster, but instead it slows down. That's because of the mummy curse. "Quick!" another guy in the caravan shouts. "I'm trying, DB," Nairb says. "But this stupid caravan is slowing down like a fuck." The caravan manages to reach the exit ramp and crashes through the exit portal. The vehicle exits the basement and policemen (and women) with their cars already surround it. Their guns on the caravan. "Get the Minaj out of that Minaj caravan!" Tiye Rashid, the female police officer shouts. Everyone inside the caravan gets out. Their hands are on air. "Drop your weapons!" Tiye orders. The savages drop their weapons. "Don't arrest us," Nairb says. "And we'll give all of you money." "No one wants your money!" Tiye shouts. "You are arrested with charges of robbery, terrorism, and purported murder of a security guard." "Very well then," Nairb casually says. "You give us your money as much as you have. If not, I'll rape each of you one by-"

An undead Khalid Ramses suddenly flies out of the basement at speed of light. He kills all the savages except for Nairb by slashing them with his double swords. Then, he stops on top of Nairb's caravan. Nairb looks at him. The latter's eyes glow gold and Egyptian blue. "Well, well, well," Nairb says. "You're trying to haunt my life, huh? NEVER!" He takes his gun and points it at Khalid. He opens fire, but the undead Egyptian guy dodges the bullet with his sword. After that, the bullet is deflected and hits Nairb's heart, killing the savage. Khalid eventually leaps at the savage, who falls to his death and slashes his body with his swords. Nairb's head, torso, and legs are severed. Khalid lands on the savage's ugly face.

Tiye glares at Khalid in horror. She looks at the hole and blood stain on his chest. "Are you...dead?" she 3/4 fearfully and 1/4 nervously asks the undead man. "Yes," Khalid responds. "This douchebag killed me. But now, I'm alive." The hole in his chest recovers by itself. He turns to the basement exit way and walks into it. "Those terrorist douchebags are meant to be dead!" he shouts at the police officers. "Burn their bodies. If not, use them as lion food." The police officers are silent. Tiye takes her phone and calls the crime investigators.

Temple Mount ❤️❤️❤️  
Jerusalem Fr33 City  
12 PM  
The Next Day

The sacred place is in chaos. Indon robots attack everyone in the temple. Jewish or Muslim Hebrews alike. All of them scramble all over the place. The robots, which are in form of cute ponies snatch wallets from the pockets of everyone they encounter using robotic hands that come out of their backs. The Israeli Defense Force soldiers and Muslim Hebrew Home Guard troops have just come to the scene with their aircrafts, cars, and weapons. They look at the brutal scene involving people being thrown down from the mount, smashed into the walls of the mount (except for the Western Wall).

A group of soldiers land themselves around the newly completed Third Temple. "Shelter the citizens in this temple!" a soldier says. Another soldiers then calls the citizens to shelter in the Third Temple. While they shelter, soldiers shoot the robots one by one with their guns. Meanwhile, a group of Muslim Hebrew troops land around the Dome of Rock. Some other surround Al-Aqsa Mosque with some IDF soldiers. They find out that many have already sheltered in the mosques.

Meanwhile, inside a shitty sarcophagus (Minaj death bed?) in the Third Temple, the spirit of Paul Rudd, a famous Israeli actor who played Marvel's Ant-Man is laying powerless. He is dying.

Tel Aviv Minaj Hospital ❤️❤️❤️  
Tel Aviv, Israel  
Same Day

Paul Rudd's semi-dead body has been resting on a stretcher in a patient room for 1/2 week. Why is that? Well, because before that, he is taking a trip to Nazareth, Israel to celebrate the debut of Ant-Man there. Then, an anvil falls from the heaven for some stupid reasons and lands on his car. It hits his damn head and knocks him out. This leads his spirit to stupidly wander into the Third Temple in Jerusalem. His semi-dead body is pitifully hospitalized in Tel Aviv Minaj Hospital. Dr. Miles Teller has been observing his body since then.

Paul's heart is still beating at low beat. Dr. Teller endlessly watches the heartbeat monitor just in case when Iggy Azalea shows up on the monitor. Just kidding. He is monitoring Paul's heartbeat and observing his physical condition until the day when the Temple Mount was attacked. (That's the time when this shit begins)

Back at the Temple

Paul's spirit's eyes open up at the same time as his original body exploded. Jewish blue light emanates from his spirit body. Nobody notices this as the sarcophagus where he is in is underground.

Tel Aviv Minaj Hospital

Dr. Teller is shocked that the heartbeat monitor shows that Paul's heartbeat increases at unholy fast rate from 40 beats to 100 beats. That only takes place in two milliseconds. Dr. Teller gasps. "Oh hell!" he dramatically says. His voice sounds like when Karen Marie Ørsted sings "Lean On." He doesn't know what to do. All he thinks is Nicki Minaj singing "Stupid Hoe." He looks around for something I don't know. But as he takes a step, Paul's body blows up in a holy sexplosion. There is no heartbeat on the monitor now. There is only blood that has splattered everywhere, including Teller's Minaj face.

Teller stupidly looks at Paul's body. His eyes then turn white in horror. He gasps again. Again. And again, before he falls to his DEATH from trauma, horror, and thinking of Nicki Minaj. "Notice me, senpai," his voice creepily whispers from nowhere.

The Third Temple

A revived, but not-so-undead Paul Rudd shows up at the Temple Foyer, which is right on top of the underground sarcophagus. At the time, many people refuging from the robot attacks are there. They look as Paul appears among them. He holds Yahweh's 2x Menorah on his right hand. People begin to look confused. Many of them knew that Paul Rudd has been hospitalized in Tel Aviv. How can he show up here? Is it a Minaj magic trick?

Paul flies out of the Temple using his 2x menorah. People are surprised as they see him flying over them at high speed.

Outside the Temple

Soldiers are still worthlessly shooting the robots trying to attack the temple and the two mosques on the Temple Mount. Paul then shows up. Soldiers look at him as he flies past them. The Jewish actor then smashes a robot with his menorah. After that, he blasts a few robots with the candles of his menorah. A robot then lunges at him from behind, but he quickly zaps that savage invention with his menorah.

The soldiers keep shooting the robots, worthlessly destroying them. That's because the laser bullets almost cannot penetrate the robots' damn metal platings. A robot grabs Paul's neck from behind with its robotic hand. It pulls Paul down. "AAH!" the Jewish actor screeches. Another robot grabs his left tibia. He slightly bends forward and drops his menorah. As the menorah falls, he looks back at a soldier protecting the temple. Then, his eyes glow blue. The soldier he looked at also has his eyes glowing, but it's lust red instead of blue. The soldier's expression looks like Scarlett Johansson and Iggy Azalea singing "Bang Bang." He shoots laser beams from his eyes. The other soldiers are surprised.

The beams hit the robot that holds Paul's neck. The pony robot blows up, causing a slight burn mark behind his neck. He then severs the hand of the other robot by kicking his feet up. After that, the robot is vaporized by the soldier with his laser beams. Paul then grabs his falling menorah and continue destroying the robots.

The battle lasts for two hours. When it is over, everyone disbands the area. Policemen and ambulances soon come.


	3. The Savage Hunt

MI69 Headquarters  
Harwich Cruise Port, Harwich, England  
Day

"Okay, suckers!" Tom Hiddleston says. He is now the head of MI69, the Anglo-Saxon secret intelligence and sex trade organization. He is sitting on a damn chair behind a round table. Members of MI69 are also sitting on chairs around the table. "Last night, England has suffered unholy attacks in two different cities," Tom continues. "And all of them were done by savages from a land once known as Indonesia. Not only they attacked a cruise ship and random residential areas, they caused one of us, Anglo-Saxons to unholily destroy the Big Ben. And caused a pitiful vandalism on buildings and stuffs like that. Seven strip clubs in London were also attacked. I want the names of those who wreak havoc in our beloved Anglo-Saxon entity right now."

"From the data I collected, here are the culprits," Sophie Turner says. A holographic powerpoint shows up from a small, circular projector from the center of the table. Thirty photos of Indon savages are shown. "The Blue One," Sophie says. A photo is zoomed in. "He was present during the Holyhead attack in March. He was also the one who stole Harry Styles and turned him into a slave using unholy mind control. He's dead now. A security camera tape from the cruise ship he attacked shows that he's brutally murdered by James McAvoy."

"We call this guy 'Blue' because his hair is blue," Tom comments. The Blue One's photo is then zoomed out. Another photo is then zoomed in. This is a photo of an Indon savage with random face tats and piercings. "This is the Püünk One," Sophie explains. "He looks like an ugly punk, isn't he?" Some people say yes or just unwillingly nod. "This one has Herpes on his lower lip and is blind in one eye," Sophie continues. "That's why he wears an eyepatch. And you know why is he blind in one eye?"

"He makes an arson in the Danish Minaj Museum in Copenhagen on September 2014," Zayn Malik (who is sitting next to Sophie) says. "Then, he encounters Karen Ørsted, that famous Danish singer, who then beats up the guy with her drumsticks. How badass is that?" "Pretty badass," Sophie comments. "Okay," Tom says. "Now, show us the third photo." The Püünk One's photo is zoomed out and the next photo is zoomed in. This photo shows a normal Indon with bald head. "This is The Wolf," Sophie explains. "Last seen in the Battle of Raja Ampat in 2008. Reports said that he was drowned during battle, but somehow, he survived, and showed up again here in England."

"A few hours ago, I received a WhatsApp message from Nick Hoult," Sophie continues. "He said he's tracking down this guy in Oxford." "Oh, that's great," Zayn says. "If he could kill him." "Yeah," Sophie says. "And that's not his first kill."

Oxford Minaj University  
Oxford, England  
Day

The Wolf, who is dressed like a janitor is cleaning a window with a broom for some stupid reasons. He is humming a shitty song that worships Amingwati, the trans-Goddess of gayness and transvestism in Indonesian Savage Hyper-Fascist Cult. Then, he hears rattling noise coming from an air vent seal. He looks at the air vent seal on the wall across. After that, the seal is banged open. Then, a (Grimdark?) Nick Hoult and his mind-controlled best friend Lucas Till come out of the air vent. Nick shows off his Diafol-666 gun and points it at the Indon. The Wolf raises his hands. "Whoa," he exclaims. 

"You are under a fucking arrest for savagery, murder, and arson," Nick says in a satanic voice. "You must be one of the MI69 agents," the Wolf says. "Bitch, I am never a secret agent in real life," Nick says. "But I know you are one of the savages behind the attacks." "Yes I am, fucker," the Wolf says. He turns to the right and runs away. Nick and Lucas look at him go. "Shit fucker," Nick says.

The civilized men (Nick and Lucas, who else? Nicki Minaj?) chase the Indonesian murderer through the damn hallway. Lucas continuously blasts red energy bolts at the Wolf as they run. After a while, the Wolf goes to the stairwell and run upstairs. Nick then shoots the back of the savage's leg, causing he (the Wolf) to collapse forward. He falls on the stair landing. Lucas takes out a handcuff and a leg cuff from his (douche)bag. He then uses them to cuff the Wolf's hands on the savage's back and legs. After that, Nick takes out his iPhone and sends a WhatsApp message to Sophie.

MI69 Headquarters

Everyone is discussing their plans to track down the savage beings. "Okay, I'm going to track down the last guy," Sophie says. "The Hündin Guy?" Zayn asks. "Yeah," Sophie says. "He's the new guy previously unknown." A ping is heard from her phone. She takes it out of her purse and turns it on. There is a WhatsApp notification, so she opens the damn Instant Messaging application. It's a message from Nick, which says "I have the Wolf captured. I'll put him in the London Dungeon soon."

"What's with your iPhone?" Tom asks her in a damn polite way. "Just got a WhatsApp message from Nick," Sophie answers. "He said he has captured the Wolf in Oxford." "Sweet," Zayn comments. "Maybe one of us can interrogate him to tell the truth about his war crimes." "You cannot interrogate a savage," Tom says. "The last time a guy did that, he's almost killed by one. So once a savage is captured, put him (or her) in a dungeon cell and leave him (or her) there until he (or she) is dead." "So interrogating a savage is like talking to a lion. Is that true?" Zayn says. "Lol," Sophie answers. "Sort of like that. Indons are humans with animal brains."

"Okay," Tom says. "So that is the conclusion of our dumb meeting. Disband." Everyone gets up and walks out of the room.

London Dungeon  
London, England  
Three Hours Later

A monster truck falls from the heaven and lands at the dungeon entrance. Nick and Lucas jump out of it with a sarcophagus containing the Indon they captured in Oxford. They enter the entrance and stop at a counter, where they consult with Katrina Kaif. "Why are you two carrying a Lebanese sarcophagus?" the female police officer asks. Nick rests one of his damn hands on the counter. "We just captured a savage, who disguised as a janitor in Oxford," he simply says. "Okay," Katrina says. "Did anybody notice you capturing this savage being?" "Of course there were people noticing us capturing this guy," Nick answers. "So I told those swaggers that this man we captured (and wounded) was a savage in a janitor suit." "Very well," Katrina says.

She grabs a phone on the counter. Then, she presses some numbers on the number keypad. After that, she puts the phone next to her ear. "Yo, Johnson!" Katrina says on the phone. "You know Nick Hoult? He and his friend got a savage from Oxford. Don't worry, the being is in a sarcophagus for some weird reasons. Come to the lobby and bring the savage in a cell."

Katrina ends her phone call and puts the phone back on the counter. Then, AT Johnson shows up from a hallway pushing a trolley. "What's up yaw?" AT says in a swag accent. He stops pushing the trolley and walks to Nick and Lucas. They shake hands and after randomly chatting like mockingbirds, he takes the sarcophagus and puts it on the trolley. AT then pushes the trolley again. He quietly sings "Beez in the Trap" as he leaves the lobby. Nick, Lucas, and Katrina watch him. Then, the former two looks at the latter.

"We gotta go," Lucas says. "We're going savage hunting," Nick says. "Okay," Katrina says. Lucas and Nick walks out. They enter the damn monster truck. He turns on the engines and the truck ascends to heaven in an unholy way.

MI69 Headquarters  
Afternoon

Sophie is using her holographic computer to track the Hündin. Then, Ben Hardy enters the office. "Sup, girl," he casually says as he sits next to her. "I'm tracking a terrorist savage," Sophie says. "Swag," Ben comments. "What's his name?" "Just call him Hündin," Sophie says. "He's one of those attacking London last night." "Okay, have you heard about the robot terrorist attack in Jerusalem earlier today?" Ben asks. "Yeah," Sophie says. "I've heard it on the Minaj News website."

A moment of silence occurs. The only damn sound heard in the semi-empty room is the slurping sound of Ben, who is drinking a bottle of Magic Minaj Water.

One hour later

"Bingo!" Sophie exclaims. The shitty moment of semi-silence is over. "I found him! :D." "Who?" Ben asks as he stops drinking. "Hündin!" Sophie says. "Oh, swag," Ben says. "You found a savage! Where is he?" "He is right over here," Sophie says. The map on the computer screen zooms into the area of Calais, France. A red dot denotes Hündin's location. It is moving southeastward.

Calais, France  
Same time

Léa Seydoux blasts her lavender, Cyclops-style optic blasts at an uncooked turkey on a roasting pan. The turkey has been seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic powder, chili powder, thyme, oregano, rosemary, douche water, and Herpes powder. It is also stuffed with bread crumbs seasoned with pepper, sugar, Herpes, Syphilis, used condoms, cum, and enema syringes. After Lea blasted her optic blasts at the turkey, it is cooked and ready to serve.

"What a pretentious magic you have," Michael Fassbender, Lea's German friend says. He is doing his own enema in the bathroom. I don't know how he looks at Lea, but probably through a small hole on a wall that separates the kitchen and the bathroom. "Merci," Lea says as she puts the turkey on a plate next to the roasting pan. Famke Janssen, her Dutch friend is sitting on a chair behind the dining table. "IJ will not eat that, thank you," she says. "IJ am a vegan. IJ will take the salad. And the fries."

Michael then comes out of the bathroom. He has just finished his stupid enema. He's wearing his clothes, of course. "Ahh," he sighs. "Zat is ze most pleasuring experience I ever had!" Famke looks at him with a stupid expression and a bit of disgust. "What do you read in his mind?" Lea asks Famke while she prepares the Gonorrhea salad. "Let's not talk about that," the latter says. "It is too disgusting."

An alarm is suddenly squealing for no good reasons from outside. Lea, Famke, and Michael go to the window frame to check out what happened. They look out of their hotel room. The alarm sound is coming from a bank building across the street. Then, an Indon terrorist (the Hündin) come out of the air vent with a machete and a bag full of French money. Three Frenchmen mind-controlled by Hündin come out of it too.

"Oh mein Herpes!" Michael exclaims. "Terrorists!" "Only one is a terrorist," Famke says. "The other three are Frenchmen. Mind controlled by the terrorist Indon." "Oh, bloody Dürex!" Michael says. "How could zat be?" "There is a mind controlling chip each on the side of the Frenchmen's heads." "How could you know?" "Let's just say that I read their minds with my magic for a while."

Police cars arrive at the scene. "Think we should help zem?" Michael asks. "Oui," Lea answers. But suddenly, Nick's monster truck falls from the heaven, crashing onto a police car that just comes to the scene. Michael and his friends gasp. "Mijn god!" Famke exclaims. "Where did zat come from?" Michael asks. "If it's from the sky, then of course it's from the heavens," Famke answers. The truck doors open and Nick, along with Lucas jump out. They then fly toward the Indon and his mind-controlled slaves just as the policemen come out. Nick screeches and shoots the Indon with his guns on his head. This causes a huge and bloody wound on the savage's forehead. Nick lands on top of the bank building and kicks the dead Indon off the building. The corpse land in front of the cops.

A mind controlled slave of the Indon lunges at Nick from behind. A machete is held on his hand. Nick simply grabs the slave's wrist and violently smashes him to the floor of the building. Another slave lunges at him, but Lucas blasts a red energy beam, knocking it away to the heaven where he's probably killed by God. The last slave then leaps at Lucas and grabs the latter's right femur. The blond worthlessly kicks the Frenchman and blasts small energy bolts at him. He does that until the Frenchman falls down to his DEATH.

"So long, suckers!" Nick shouts. He and Lucas then fly back to their monster truck, enter it, and ascend back to heaven with the truck. "Lol," Léa says.

Back at Harwich  
An hour later

Sophie is watching the Babylonian Harlot News (a subsidiary of Minaj News) on TV. The headline is "Indon Savage Killed by an Angry and Deranged Nick Hoult and Lucas Till." The news anchor, who appears to be James McAvoy in a drag queen outfit is talking nonsense. Unamused, Sophie turns off the stupid TV and sips a cup of Herpes coffee. "Boring piece of shit," she says. Then, a chainsaw cut a large a-hole on the door. Emilia then walks in through the hole. The chainsaw is on her hand. "What the fuck?" Sophie exclaims in utter stupidity. "Quick, yo!" Emilia orders. "Some shit Indon suckers attack a strip pub!" Sophie gets on her feet. "Bloody Herpes!" she says. "Where is it?" "27 Tampon Street," Emilia says. "We gotta hurry!"

27 Tampon Street

A baby carriage falls from the heaven and lands in front of the strip pub. Emilia and Sophie jumps out, showing off their deadly yet shitty weapons. "Eh?" Sophie says. "That's Nick and Lucas' monster truck. What the bloody Gonorrhea are those two douchebags doing here?" Nick and Lucas then walks out of the strip club through a shattered window frame. Nick holds a head of an Indon who attacked the club while Lucas drags the latter's headless corpse. Nick stares at the women. "What's up, suckers?" he asks them. "Well," Emilia begins. "We came to kill the Indons to save the night." "We have already killed those barbaric m-fuckers," Lucas says as he opens the truck baggage. He takes out an Alice blue container from the baggage, opens the container seal, and puts the body in it. Nick puts the head in and shuts the seal. He then puts the container back in the baggage.

"Okay," Sophie says. "Where are you guys going?" "Savage hunting!" Nick shouts as he boards the truck. Lucas soon follows suit. "So long, SUCKERS!" the former shouts. The truck ascends to heaven in front of Sophie and Emilia. "Oh well," the former says. "I'm gonna go...savage tracking." "Me too," the latter says. The women get back in the carriage and ascend to heaven.


End file.
